Archive for Author Tonya

LOVE

imageDefinition:  Refers to a variety of different feelings, states and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection to pleasure.  A feeling of strong or constant affection for a person:  attraction that may include sexual desire or a romantic relationship.  A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person such as a parent, child or friend.


I normally post every Friday morning, I find it only fitting for this week to choose the word LOVE since this year it is February 14 and we celebrate Valentine’s Day and my second grandchild’s 3rd birthday.  Happy Birthday Liam Jackson Montgomery, Gigi LOVES you to the moon and back!  It was also the day my Mother and Dad got married and a few years later had ME…I LOVE you too MOM AND DAD, I am so blessed to have you both as my parents and all the wonderful things you have taught me, the advice and support you continue to give me, the wings to let me fly and to believe in me no matter what.  You both are simply AMAZING…

 

Speaking of Valentine’s Day which is also known as Saint Valentine’s Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine it is celebrated in many countries around the world.  It was named for a Christian martyr and dates back to the 5th century, and has origins in the Roman holiday.  We mainly recognize it by sending or receiving flowers, box of heart shaped chocolates, greeting cards.  Other symbols are doves and winged Cupids with arrows and hearts.  How many of you remember growing up and having to make your Valentine’s Day box for your school party out of an old shoe box wrapped in white butcher paper and pasting hearts, paper doilies, hand drawn art with ribbons, bows and as I got a little older they finally came out with adhesive heart stickers?  We would spend hours decorating them and cut a slit in the middle of the lid in order for all our friends to slip that special Valentine’s Day card in your box, you made the slit a little wider in hopes some would drop the little box of conversation candy hearts that had words on them and tasted like chalk or a heart shaped sucker and of course my all-time favorite Red Hots.  You would spend time writing out just the perfect card for each of your friends.  We still try to give the kids something small but special for this wonderful fun filled day we can show our LOVE.  Happy Valentine’s Day to each of you!

 

I will never forget a life changing experience happened to me about thirteen years ago, I had the bright idea I always wanted to own a flower shop in my last halftime of life, as I LOVE to dabble in arranging flowers and putting gift baskets together.  I was walking by our local florist and they had a sign in the window, “Help Wanted” for the week of Valentine’s Day.  So I went in and applied…now keep in mind I am a wife, mother of three children still at home at the time with a full-time high demanding sales job that had an annual quota to meet.  But you know I thought what the heck, this is a dream of mine it is only for a week or so I can fit this in with no problem.  I was superwoman remember from my blog post in November?  Needless to say they hired me on the spot and asked if I could start that day.  I explained I already had a full-time job but could work after 5:00 and on the weekends.  I also had decided I would actually take two days of vacation from my regular job on the 13th and 14th so I could be there all day.  For anyone who has not worked in a flower shop let me tell you it is not all a bed of roses…well maybe it is but allot of thorns will stick you in many ways.  I must mention to my wonderful cousin who has had her own shop until they moved and now working in another one you don’t get paid enough for what you do day in and day out!  Believe me….I showed up at 5:00 p.m. and didn’t get home until after 1:00 a.m. for a solid week.  The two days I worked all day we got there by 6:00 a.m. and got home at 1:00 a.m. with barely any breaks for lunch or dinner.  They received shipments daily, so unpacking the flowers immediately, put them in water took time and especially the roses you had to unbundle, trim, cut the thorns off and my fingers were bleeding and had major calluses and band aides on both thumbs before it was all over.  You have to keep the floor swept, make beautiful bows, arrange the flowers in various sizes and shaped vases.  Taking orders by faxes, phone, emails, and customers coming in.  It was CrAzY…but the most enlightening day was when I delivered the flowers we worked so hard in arranging and trying to make them just perfectly beautiful.  I was given the business routes, the first stop I made was to tall office buildings, living in the city and being a delivery person I could no longer walk in the front door like a salesman or customer.  This was right after 9/11 and all deliveries had to go to the dock area where shipping and receiving were handled with a guard checking your ID and marking where you were going.  The funny thing I was driving my SUV and I pull up to a dock built for semi-trucks and have to park, I felt like a dwarf or midget; then I had to hike up a flight of stairs and ring a bell for security while trying to hold this huge vase of beautiful roses with a box of chocolates or stuffed animal attached  and a clipboard so we had proof of delivery but the worse was when you had a balloon and the wind was blowing, if you had multiple orders to the same location you made several trips back and forth to the dock and your car…can you visualize this folks?  Let me also tell you there are some really unique people in this world, I seemed to have had more unhappy customers than happy ones.  People were either upset because of who sent them, or the fact they spent money when they told them not too, the arrangement was too small or too big, not the right color or had a stuffed animal they didn’t like or chocolates they didn’t want…the list went on and on.  I have never seen so many ungrateful people on such a special day.  I felt bad because the ones’ that placed the order and spent a favorable amount of money were just trying to show a little “LOVE”.  Needless to say I was glad that week was over, I was exhausted, drained and realized I didn’t really want to own a flower shop anymore.  I also have a deeper appreciation for the fresh flowers I receive on occasion and they do make me happy happy happy!  A Big round of applause to all the floral designers and delivery folks out there, a job well done with very little appreciation!

 

The early part of this week Jack Frost was still visiting us in Northern Texas, so I usually retreat to my favorite chair in the corner of my bedroom in my yoga pants, fuzzy socks, and wrapped up in a blanket, it is so cozy “Takin Time Out” with a savoring cup of Hot Tea to warm my body and soul, Mmmmm!   I thought about how impactful the word LOVE is and how lucky I am because each and every day I am able to give and receive LOVE from so many people around me.  My home is full of LOVE, for the most part even with all the challenges I LOVE my job and those I work with, I attend a church and their principles are built on LOVING one another, I have several friends and neighbors I LOVE and actually we live in a nation that was founded on freedom and LOVE for one another.   I truly think we take this for granted and at times we may not agree with the decisions our leaders make but we still have our freedom and we have the privilege and right to vote, voice our opinions, pray for them and we choose to accept and give LOVE how we see fit.  Yes there is a cost and sometimes we get hurt by those we LOVE.  I will agree it is not always easy, I love the quote LOVE is so easy to feel, so hard to explain, easy to get, so hard to let go, easy to spell, so hard to define. 

 

LOVE is expressed as an action and experienced as a feeling.  It includes compassion, determination, tolerance, endurance, support, faith and much more.  I feel in order to truly LOVE one another fully you must learn to LOVE yourself first.  I know many of you have been faced with difficulties through life’s journey whether is was in your early childhood, broken relationships or a parent walking out of your life through High School, College or as a young adult. Perhaps your marriage fails as the children get older or leave home. Losing a LOVED one to an untimely death and trying to understand why. Your heart is truly broken and you wonder how you can go on.  Yes, you are left to cope and try to put the pieces back together.  Acceptance and forgiveness is key and then you can choose to take a day at a time slowly LOVING yourself so you can learn to LOVE others more.  As a Christian I feel only our heavenly father, along with faith and hope can help us through those unfortunate circumstances.

 

 

One of my favorite Christian authors C.S. Lewis, had a book published based on a set of radio talks from 1958 but so distinctly explains the types of LOVE. It is an insightful read and I encourage you to pick it up sometime:

 The Four LOVES:

1)    Storge-Affection is fondness through familiarity or brotherly LOVE

2)     Philia-Friendship the LOVE between friends

3)     Eros-Romance being in LOVE or LOVING someone

4)     Agape-Unconditional LOVE Charity is the LOVE that brings forth caring regardless of the circumstance.

 

At some point I hope you experience all 4 but my favorite is probably the Agape LOVE…to truly LOVE someone unconditionally no matter who they are or the circumstances.  This reminds me of our Heavenly Father and how he LOVES each of us unconditional no matter how bad we mess up, he never leaves or forsakes us.  Scripture is full of the word LOVE, I googled to see how many times it is mentioned in the Bible, it is close to 500 but up to 700 depending on the version you are reading.  That is amazing.  There are too many favorite verses to list but a couple that pop in my head is the first verse I memorized, John 3:16 “For God so LOVED the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.  The second Ephesians 4:2 “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in LOVE.”  There is actually a whole LOVE Chapter found in the New Testament

1 Corinthians 13 please promise me you will open your bible and read this chapter today it is soooo powerful and many lessons to a apply in our everyday living.  One of my favorites from this chapter is verse 13 “And now these three remain faith, hope and LOVE.  But the greatest of these is LOVE.

 

A couple years ago I hosted a small one night “Takin Time Out” for ten beautiful women and we did “LOVING Well” retreat in a box written and hosted on video by the well-known author, teacher and Bible Study guru Beth Moore.  Taped at a Living Proof Live event, Beth discusses how some people are a JOY to LOVE, how some people are DIFFICULT to LOVE and how we all deal with some people who are humanly impossible to LOVE.  (Anyone come to mind?)  In all of those relationships one truth endures:  We will never be able to LOVE until we have been LOVED well.  And only God can ultimately give us the complete LOVE we so desperately need.  Another great option to consider for a short 4 week in home bible study series or weekend retreat with a group of special people who want to take their LOVE to another level.  Check it out.

 

This is a topic I could go on and on about…I may have to do another blog post down the road on this wonderful word.  But it is getting late and I have made a commitment this year to LOVE myself more and “Takin Time Out”, to rest, read, reflect, eat healthier, intake more water and become more aware day in and day out.  I hope you too have made a list of opportunities for you to work on this year…breathing deeply, choosing a word that speaks to your soul, lightening your load or perhaps it has the word LOVING in it?  Like…LOVING a little bit more, LOVING a little deeper or maybe even showing those who are a little more difficult how you can change and LOVE them too?  Forgiveness maybe?  Perhaps it is learning to accept more LOVE not just give it away?  What comes to mind when you think of LOVE?  Does it hurt or does it make you feel happy, silly or giddy? Does your body tingle?   I hope each of you this week while “Takin Time Out” will find time to do what makes you happy, be with who makes you smile, laugh as much as you can, breathe deeply, forgive no matter what and LOVE as long as you live!  Until next time my dear friend I LOVE sharing tidbits, tales, tea from Texas with each one of you…YOU ARE A TRUE BLESSING!

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SERENE or SERENITY

imageDefinition:   Calm, Peaceful and untroubled; tranquil

 

What do you think of when you hear the word Serene or Serenity?  Let’s close our eyes briefly breathe in very slowly…exhale and let your mind settle…again let us breathe in deeply thinking of peace and serenity exhale slowly breathing out worry and stress.  Oh how I like to do this and settle myself into a state of calm.  Our daily lives are full of activity, a demanding to-do list, family and work obligations.  We are so over stimulated with noise, maybe the TV is blaring in the background or you are receiving yet another text or email.  Perhaps small children fill your home with lots of love but occasional chaos too.  I feel each one of us have to seek to find a place of serene being and should make a habit of this more often than not.

 

As I sit here sipping on my cup of hot herbal green tea, this brings me to a serene being.  It literally warms my soul with that smooth savoring taste.  I truly am so grateful for this time to share my inmost thoughts with each of you.   I hope you enjoy reading my word of the week and it leaves little nuggets of hope, love, laughter and a bit of wisdom along life’s journey.  With this long cold winter season, I know many of you are wishing for some warm sunshine and finding that serenity we all so desperately desire.  That’s when I think it is most important to create the well being right where you are.  Nature can have such a direct impact on our moods and state of mind.  When things are not quite like what we want we have the power within to change our attitude or surroundings to make it what we desire.  What do I mean by this, let me try to explain.

 

Yes we woke up to a windy cold North wind they are predicting the high to be in the 20’s but wind chill will be below that where I live. We have had snow however, much of the nation is receiving it much worse with heavy snow, freezing rain and temperatures below zero; let us not forget it is February.  I am so thankful for central heat, electricity, natural gas or a fire in the fireplace to warm my home, coat, gloves, seat warmers and heat in my car to go to work but right there we can choose to have a serene state of mind or one that is caught up in the reality of life and complain of the bitter cold. It is all in a matter of our choosing.

 

I will admit a nice warm beach, sunshine and lapping waters of the ocean flowing up on the shore while you sink your toes into the sand is truly serenity.  Watching the sunrise or sunset over the mountaintop or perhaps looking out and seeing tall pine trees and listening to birds chirping or woodpecker pecking offers serenity.  I also think the flat lands with a windmill and cattle grazing off the land offers peace.  Maybe riding your bike through the park or around the pond of serene water, even a nice snowfall, no wind watching it pile up into a powderly pile of fluff or raindrops falling on the roof of your home. Perhaps your view is the ocean, gulf or lake…can you envision each of those examples did it provide a little peace to your soul?

 

Personally I love the sound of running water, it truly brings me to a serene state of being, perhaps it is from the fountain, the hot tub flowing over into the swimming pool, a creek or river trickling over rocks, a waterfall, and don’t laugh but I love the sound of a warm bath water running from the faucet especially if it has bubbles, lavender and Epson salt…it is truly calling my name.  Yes a hot warm bath is my ritual every evening.  I love to light candles, play soft music,read, sip on a hot cup of tea and soak away all my troubles and dream yes dream it is so serene!  My hubby is so wonderful if I am taking my bath and he comes to check on me he always asks if I need another cup of tea or need anything, as he knows how this tranquil time lifts my spirits and feeds my soul.  When my children were little they also knew that was Momma’s ”Takin Time Out” and not to bother me for a least 20 minutes.  Now they are gone I kinda miss them sitting outside the door waiting for me to finish.  LOL!

 

How many of you are facing the trials and tribulations of life right now?  Maybe it is a recent illness, or a not so favorable diagnosis, perhaps it is the heaviness of addiction, depression, debt, loss of job, struggling marriage, wayward child, empty nest or death of a precious loved one?   Maybe it is growing old and not being able to do as much as you once did or having the desire to move forward.  We all have periods in our life things seem uncertain.  That is when I like to call upon the Lord to help me change my perception, I seek his face and I find not only his presence but also his peace and serenity no matter the difficulty we are in.  As Psalm 46:1-2 states, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.”   Romans 8:6 “The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace (serenity).”

 

This also reminds me of the Serenity Prayer which each one of us can benefit from by reading regularly:

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 What brings serenity to your soul?  Have you thought about it lately?  Takin Time Out” to reflect on this and planning a getaway even if it is to your favorite place in your home will do you so much good.  Yes I have several serene places in my home besides the bath tub, one is in my chair in the corner of my room where I have built my nest with books, journals, devotionals and my “Takin Time Out” thinkin spot.  If I am not there I am in my kitchen…as I love to bake and cook something scrumptious for my friends and family.  When the weather is nicer I like to go outside and sit by the pool or in the front and dig my hands deep into the fresh dirt of my flower or herb garden or take a brisk walk around the neighborhood.  I encourage you to check out and find a place that speaks to your soul, renews your energy and you find truly serene.  Life is way too short to let it just fly by without finding peace and a tranquil setting every now and then.

 

Until next time my dear friends, I hope you stay warm…breathe deeper, remain calm and find your serenity this week!

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AWARENESS

imageDefinition:  Knowledge of a situation or fact.  The ability to perceive, to feel or to become conscious of events, objects or sensory patterns.  Intuitive

 

I love taking a word and really focusing on the true meaning and depth it can offer along this journey in life and “Takin Time Out!”  This week I decided to share my Word of The Year 2014 – “AWARENESS!”  During the past couple of years I have become more in tune with my surroundings and opportunities that presents themselves in so many ways on a daily basis.  I feel as if I am more intuitive and I am able to act more and make things happen based on my instincts when certain moments, opportunities or circumstances present themselves.  Maybe it is the mother in me.  However, through my quiet time each morning I feel the Holy Spirit really at work.  It has been an incredible journey and makin some unforgettable memories happen.  In this last “Halftime” of life it truly makes me HaPpY!  I am hoping to take it to the next level this year!

 

God has wired me with a servant’s heart and I truly love to do and give back to others in special ways.  AWARENESS” of those individuals Love Languages or likes and dislikes can make it a more a personable journey.  Sometimes the reflection is heartwarming, sometimes it is very emotional, while other moments  bring laughter, I am not quit witted as I would like to be but usually someone will pick up on something I have done or said and add that part to the mix.  Oh what fun the adventure can bring.

 

Mentioning Love Language have you read the book or listened to the audio book written by Gary Chapman?  It is one of my top ten must read books of all times.  It will help you to express your heartfelt commitment to your mate, children, loved ones and even co-workers or people you are close to.  Once you determine how that person is wired and the love language they speak you can relate to that person on a much deeper level.  The added bonus it cuts down on your frustration and you also will fill that person Love Tank up and life can go much smoother.  There are five to choose from Let me expand on each one from excerpts in the book to give you a betterAWARENESS”.

Words of Affirmation

One time when my wife and I were visiting our daughter and son-in-law and our two grandchildren, our son-in-law took the garbage out after dinner. When he walked back into the room where we were talking with our daughter, she looked up and said, “John thanks for taking the garbage out.”

Inside I said, “Yes!” because I knew the power of appreciation. I can’t tell you how many men and women have sat in my office over the past 30 years and said to me, “I work my tail off every day, yet my spouse acts like I haven’t done a thing. I never get a single word of appreciation.”

If your spouse’s primary love language is words of affirmation, your spoken praise and appreciation will fall like rain on parched soil. Before long, you will see new life sprouting in your marriage as your spouse responds to your words of love.

Acts of Service

Do you remember the old saying, “Actions speak louder than words”? For some people, that is particularly true of love. If acts of service are your spouse’s primary love language, nothing will speak more deeply to him or her emotionally than simple acts of service.

Maxine, who had been married for 15 years, came to my office one day because she was frustrated with her marriage. Listen to what she said: “I don’t understand David. Every day he tells me that he loves me, but he never does anything to help me. He just sits on the couch watching TV while I wash the dishes, and the thought never crosses his mind to help me. I’m sick of hearing ‘I love you.’ If he loved me, he would do something to help me.”

Maxine’s primary love language is acts of service (not words of affirmation), and even though her husband, David, loved her, he had never learned to express his love in a way that made her feel loved. However, after David and I talked and he read The Five Love Languages, he got the picture and started speaking Maxine’s love language. In less than a month, her love tank was beginning to fill up, and their marriage moved from winter to spring.

The next time I talked to Maxine, she said, “It’s wonderful. I wish we had come for counseling 10 years ago. I never knew about the love languages. I just knew I didn’t feel loved.”

Receiving Gifts

In every society throughout human history, gift giving has been perceived as an expression of love. Giving gifts is universal, because there is something inside the human psyche that says if you love someone, you will give to him or her.

What many people do not understand is that for some people, receiving gifts is their primary love language. It’s the thing that makes them feel loved most deeply. If you’re married to someone whose primary love language is gift giving, you will make your spouse feel loved and treasured by giving gifts on birthdays, holidays, anniversaries and “no occasion” days.

The gifts need not be expensive or elaborate; it’s the thought that counts. Even something as simple as a homemade card or a few cheerful flowers will communicate your love to your spouse. Little things mean a lot to a person whose primary love language is receiving gifts.

Quality Time

If your spouse’s love language is quality time, giving him or her your undivided attention is one of the best ways you can show your love. Some men pride themselves on being able to watch television, read a magazine, and listen to their wives, all at the same time. That is an admirable trait, but it is not speaking the love language of quality time.

Instead, you must turn off the TV, lay the magazine down, look into your mate’s eyes, and listen and interact. To your spouse, 20 minutes of your undivided attention – listening and conversing – is like a 20-minute refill of his or her love tank.

Men, if you really want to impress your wife, the next time she walks into the room while you are watching a sporting event, put the television on mute and don’t take your eyes off her as long as she’s in the room. If she engages you in conversation, turn the TV off and give her your undivided attention. You will score a thousand points and her love tank will be overflowing.

Physical Touch

We have long known the emotional power of physical touch. That’s why we pick up babies and touch them tenderly. Long before an infant understands the meaning of the word love, he or she feels loved by physical touch.

In marriage, the love language of physical touch includes everything from putting a hand on your mate’s shoulder as you walk by, touching his or her leg as you’re driving together, and holding hands while you’re walking to kissing, embracing and sexual intercourse.

If physical touch is your spouse’s primary love language, nothing communicates love more clearly than for you to take the initiative to reach out and touch your mate.

Aren’t these incredible examples and could you relate to one or two of the situations?  Do you know your love language or those you love?  I hope you will consider picking up a copy if you haven’t already.  I have the audio and love to listen to it often as I am a bit remedial and learn from it each and every time.

Shortly after my last child graduated High School, I decided to give my family a quiz or survey on certain subject matters.  I am always trying to improve my relationship or “AWARENESSand make things special for each of my loved ones.  These are a few of the questions I asked: 

1)     What is your Favorite Home Cooked Meal?

2)     What is your Favorite Place to Eat Out?

3)     What is your Favorite Holiday?

4)     What was your Favorite Church we attended growing up and why?  (We changed a few times along the way, livin in the Big City you can do that)

5)     Who was your favorite pet and why?

6)     What is your favorite dessert?

7)     What is your favorite appetizer?

8)     What is your favorite beverage?

9)     Where would you volunteer?

10)If you could go on a mission trip where would it be?

11)What is your favorite room in the house?

12)If you had a choice in receiving a gift, or getting together or going somewhere, which would it be and why?

13)  What was your favorite family trip or outing and why?

14)  What is your favorite game to play?

15) Do you like to work puzzles?

16)  If you could take a trip where would you go and why?

17)  Are you in favor of Mom and Dad selling the house and moving – Why or why not?  And if so where…Lake?  Golf Course? Or the Country?

18)  From your childhood what do you wish I would have done differently?

19)  What is your favorite memory?

20)  What is your favorite book and/or movie?

This gave me such an insight to each person, you know I thought I knew the answer to most but I was wrong on quite a few.  Now on their birthday I can fix their favorite home cooked meal, dessert or we take them out to eat at their favorite restaurant.  When I want to volunteer for something and not go by myself I know who to ask.  Maybe I want to work that jigsaw puzzle on the wintery “Takin Time Out” I know who will help and who won’t!  I recently bought a game and there are several topic editions of different subject matters on Table Talk Trivia, it has various questions and you draw a card read the question and answer it.  I love how you get to know that person better, you are surprised at some of the answers but bottom line you become more intentionally “AWARE”.  I encourage you to pick up the game it is great for a dinner party or small gathering you have allot of laughs.  We try to play each Sunday Night when we gather as a family for dinner.

I believe we need to be more “AWARE” of our bodies and watch for unexpected changes we can detect many things early and head off any potential life threatening illnesses if we are “AWARE” and act upon them.  I am not encouraging you to be a hypochondriac but sometimes there are little signs you need to see a doctor or nurse practitioner about.  Make sure we get our regular routine checkups, dental cleanings and checkup, take our herbs and vitamins.  Drink plenty of water and exercise while maintaining a healthy diet.  As we grow older certain things we might be deficient on and we prevent further damage or complications down the road.

Speaking of “Awareness”, I believe Facebook has been a positive result of connecting with old friends and folks I grew up with in the same tight knit community from my childhood.  As many of you know I moved away several years ago, my parents and sister have also moved away but our roots and relationships remain deep.  If you had the opportunity to grow up in rural America you will know what I mean.  Once a friend always a friend or if you had a certain last name they respected even if they never met you but they knew your parents, grandparents or sibling you were their friend.  Do you understand what I am trying to say?  Oh yes I forgot to mention they may be your distant relative or next of kin as well. LOL…

With that said, I have reconnected with many people I probably would never see again.   For those of you on Facebook I hope you can relate to what I am saying.  I love that I have a relationship with those friends & family that are half way around the world or right in my back yard and I didn’t even know it.  We have connected again and they are part of my daily life just as they once were.  Yes I will agree sometimes I don’t really care how many times they went to the gym (guilt maybe), what they had for dinner (I am dieting) or where they are vacationing (I am jealous).  LOL don’t take it personal if I hit a nerve.  But most of the time I do care and like or comment on their post because maybe they are wanting to make improvements or changes in their life and I can be that encourager or coach to help motivate them and cheer them on and vice versa. It’s all about being “AWARE” and acting upon it.

This summer there was one post from a friend making a statement to her cousin who lives in Dallas maybe they could get together for lunch sometime on I-35 since they were only a couple hours away from one another.  My “AWARENESS” radar kicked in and I was planning a business trip to Austin and had asked my cousin to ride down with me since it was her birthday and thought she might like to get out of town for a few days.  I contacted the friend that lived a couple hours away and asked her to meet us at my favorite “Takin Time Out” retreat in Saledo for dinner but I wanted to surprise my cousin since we all hadn’t seen each other in many years.  Each of our parents were good friends growing up but time, circumstances and our move away from that community we had lost touch through the years.  It was exciting and heartwarming to spend a few hours into the wee morning catching up and reminiscing about old times.  Connection and “AWARENESS” was key in this memory makin event.

Just last month I reached out to another friend and we met for lunch.  I loved the reconnection, catching up, sharing each of the trials, tribulations, relationships, ages and stages of the kids…it was great.  We both have a different story to tell but the fact we were born in that same small town community gave us our roots and that makes us unique.  Special Memories are being made all because I became more “AWARE” and connected through Facebook.  I know social media sometimes gets a bad rap but personally I feel it is all in moderation.  Do not let it consume too much of your time or become an addiction and lose sight of keeping those face to face personal relationships.   Be smart and set boundaries is my advice to us all.

 

As I sit here sipping on a steaming cup of hot China Tip Green Tea…I recently read an article of how God directs the lives and paths of Christians in many ways and often uses the Bible to speak to us.  Again “AWARENESS”, the word of God is powerful and changes the hearts of those that hear it and live by it. It is a great idea to memorize Bible Verses and then to go back to them throughout your life as situations come up and you are “AWARE” and ready giving instruction, encouragement and inspiration for our daily walk with God…here are my top 5 from that article.

#1 – Seek what is Pure

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.

#2 Be aware of the spiritual battle

1 Peter 5:8-10

Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.

#3 Trust

Psalm 37:3-5

Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

#4 Be Content with what God has given you

Hebrews 13:5-6

Let your character be free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,” so that we confidently say, “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What shall man do to me?”

#5 Salvation

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

When opportunities present themselves I always want to be the hand and feet of Jesus.  However, in this crazy mixed up world I know we have to walk with caution and use our heads and hearts wisely but it doesn’t mean to keep our blinders on or our head in the buried sand.   We need to react when situations present themselves.  Every morning on my way to work I see this same girl walking to HS school.   I do not know her or her parents personally but they do live in our neighborhood.  Now the school is just a few blocks away and during nice weather I think it’s great to walk and get the exercise but this week it was bitter cold and all she had was a light weight jacket and she was shaking her hands to try to keep them warm and circulation to move.  I really wanted to ask her if she wanted a ride but knew I shouldn’t so I slowly drive by and by the time I got to the stop sign the light bulb went off.  I had an extra pair of warm gloves in my console, so I rolled down the window and offered her my gloves, she thanked me and asked how she could return them or repay me, I said not to worry about it keep warm and have a great day.  I pulled away feeling so much better and knew I was able to help even if it wasn’t a warm ride to school. 

As I continue “Takin Time Out” reflecting on this journey called life, I hope something sparked a fire with you this week, to make a change, enhance your life, pick a word you want to expand upon or just sit back and breathe a little deeper and relax a bit more.  Look around, visualize like we discussed last week and become more “AWARE”.  What have you been missing?  Until next time my dear friend…enjoy and observe a little more…

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VISION or VISUAL

imageDefinition:  The sense of sight, the physical mechanism of eyesight, a supernatural experience that conveys a revelation.  A dream, trance or a supernatural illusion.

For those of us who can see 20/20 or with the aid of glasses we sometimes take this sense for granted.  I have two really good friends that have lost their eyesight or vision at an early age and are legally blind but it hasn’t slowed their quality of life down too much, they have learned to adapt and they gently remind me how fortunate I am to be able to see so clearly especially when it comes to driving at night.

 

Let’s do a little exercise, close your eyes for a moment or better yet get a blind fold on for just a little while and breathe deeply.  Do you suddenly hear things more clearly but you feel a bit out of control because you can’t see?  Is the backside of your eyelids a little more defining? Are they beginning to twitch? Now just sit there for a little while and let your imagination start to work, what are your seeing, can you see images, places, things or is it time for a light show and you have random psychedelic-like patterns and flashes of color dancing around your field of vision, do you see stars or is it visually pitch black?  Are you beginning to feel panic or are you relaxed and ok with not being able to see?  All of these are normal but I feel if you have a deeper sense of visual perception and you can change things to look like something else you have a gift. Ok open your eyes or take the blindfold off.  Focus and clear your mind now take another deep breathe and if you can see clearly give a little praise of thanks!

 

Now, let me expand on this thought.  Have you ever walked into a room or a house that needs some updating?  Can you look at that house and change the color, the texture, the design or maybe even move some walls, windows or doors and now maybe change the carpet to wood floors or tile etc visually you see a fun and innovative challenges or does it just look like an old run down house that needs allot of work and you have no clue what to do or where to start?  What about a blank backyard, do you see adding different textures, trees, rocks, waterfall, fireplace or fire pit and a child’s play area or again just a bunch of grass growing? Maybe you can look at someone and see their hair styled a little different or a bit shorter or longer maybe a different color?   This is where your creativity can kick in but my personal experiences some people have that in-depth perception of visualization and some people just don’t no matter how hard they try.  For example I am very thankful I have been able to take after my Dad; he has always been a visual thinker.  I too can see it before the work ever begins however, my mom and daughters do not have this gift at all.  You have to show them pictures, explain, draw it out etc.  They know what they like and don’t like they just don’t see it before it is transformed into the masterpiece.

 

My husband teases me because sometimes he will walk in a room or outside where I am sitting and I have this blank stare, he says oh no what are you visualizing about now?  He just knows the wheels are spinning inside my head and I love that he knows that about me.  Maybe 28+ years has paid off.   He also has learned that every time he leaves me home alone for an extended amount of time, he is going to come back and find something transformed.  I love at home DIY projects sometimes they turn out really well and sometimes they don’t.  We had purchased a gas stove as I love to cook with gas vs electricity but our house was wired only for electrical.  My husband had agreed we could run gas from the outside but would have to come through the concrete floor from the outside wall.  He agreed to jack hammer the floor from behind the refrigerator to the island where I wanted the stove to be, he thought there would only be one little section and maybe we could put a rug over the patched concrete for a little while.  He left to run to Home Depot for something, which was his first mistake.  I looked at the floor and began to visualize new tile then I looked at that jack hammer and thought you know I think I can do this and I began to pop up all that old dingy tile.  As he walked in the door, his expression was priceless…there was a big pile of rubble and a happy self-satisfied wife.  I am woman hear me roar, oh and don’t leave a big ole power tool there plugged in ready for action with safety glasses, as I visualize I can do anything!  And yes that includes a mess.

 

Another time he had to work out of town for about 3 months and we would see each other every other weekend.  He still laughs at me as I decided to remodel the guest bathroom.  We had a tub/shower combination but somehow with three kids growing up the mounted soap dish was dismantled, the towel rod missing and a big chip in the back end of the tub was just an eye sore.  No one remembers exactly what happened or who did it but it just miraculously appeared one day.  Hmmm…sure…whatever!  Well enough I decided we would just take the tub out and install a standalone shower.  The ripping out the tile and tearing down sheet rock to the open studs was the fun part…it released any built up anger or a great upper body workout but how in the world was I going to get the tub out all by myself?  I couldn’t darn it…luckily my hubby was coming home that weekend so he helped me as he was shaking his head at this point it was better just to do it than argue as we were too far gone.  Next I had to call the plumber to move the toilet over about a foot and he fixed the bathtub drain to a shower drain and put the appropriate lining to pass the city code.  We were well on our way.  Living in the city I have learned to appreciate the local dump in rural America more and more.   In the big city there are certain rules you must follow, believe me I know first handed all about them.  You are permitted to have only one disposal per month at no charge and you must present a water bill.  Well I knew the one per month rule but needless to say I did not know about the water bill until I got there.  It was a warm October morning last day of the month and I thought oh no I better get that tub to the dump because I have other things I will need to take but I couldn’t get it all in one load.  So before going to work early on a Friday morning, I loaded the bathtub in the back of my Tahoe and off I go.  I pull in the gate and there are two lines the bad thing was I wasn’t sure which line I needed to be in and I couldn’t see any sign as I was surrounded by big trash trucks both lanes in front and behind me.  So I just followed behind them I got to the main gate and quickly realized I probably needed to be in the other line, oh well I pulled up on the scales, luckily from my childhood I remember going to the CO-OP grain elevators with Dad in the truck and I knew what they were, I hop out of the car and begin to walk up to the window when I quickly realized I was in trouble my cute little high healed shoes with my jeans probably wasn’t the right attire to wear to the dump but were great looking for work!  My heals were falling down in the metal wire grate, twisting my ankle ugh…the big trash truck driver was probably getting a great laugh or was mildly irritated at this crazy clueless blonde woman taking away from his precious time…so I began to tip-toe in a hurry to the window where I was greeted with the most pleasant (NOT) woman who apparently loved her job…yelling at me “ You are in the wrong lane but since you are here I need your water bill” and I said I don’t have my water bill I have my driver’s license.   She spouts off “I need your water bill can’t take your license” I apologized and said I only have my license I guess I will have to turn around and go back home…she quickly asked what I was dumping I said a bathtub and she again in such a pleasant tone said, “a BATHTUB why in the world are you dumping a bathtub.” I begin to explain we were doing some remodeling and she said never mind and asked if I could unload it by myself.  I said I loaded it and I can unload it all by myself mam trust me!  She laughed and said in a much better tone she would make an exception but only for this time, to make sure I am in the other lane, bring a water bill next time, to drive down the hill and put in third dumpster.  I thanked her politely tip toed my way back to the car while waiving and smiling to the trash truck driver behind me and drove off to the residential dumping ground.  I got out rolled that bathtub down the hill and into the third dumpster as she said and then I high tailed it out of there.  Whew what a morning and it wasn’t even 8:00 yet.  Another lesson learned maybe hire someone to go to the dump or wait for husband to return home.  Well the tile I ordered for the bathroom was back ordered and that simple little project turned into about 9 months of waiting and visualizing.  I never got the first tile I picked out but a better offer came along and it is absolutely beautiful.  It is simple, easy to keep clean and ecliptic sort of decor.  I like things a bit different than the norm which makes it reflect more my style. 

 

This weekend the guys went to Arkansas duck hunting and I was so excited to be home alone for three days, I went to the paint store after work on Friday and picked out a soothing grey/blue/green paint called tranquility for the middle bedroom.  I repainted the wainscoting and trim white and the upper walls Tranquility.  I hung some simple shear curtains and put up the twin bed with a simple white quilt comforter, we still have the treadmill in there but it serves as an extra guest bed & workout meditation room.  I was most excited to hang this beautiful old beveled stain glass window inside the shear curtains.  Again it’s simple but elegantly soothing and another room transformed.  It makes me happy happy happy! I guess this is enough about DIY home improvements…

 

As I am sipping on a steaming cup of Earl Grey Tea with stevia Mmmmm…I love how it warms up my entire body on this cold wintery evening.  I absolutely love ““Takin Time Out”” and visualizing my goals and dreams as well.  I see myself healthy, happy, and full of life and making things happen.  It is called the Power of Positive Thinking.  Speaking of which have you ever read the book written by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale?  It is absolutely a must read, even though it was written in 1952 it is still one of the best self-help volumes of inspiration and wisdom and practical guide to use in today’s environment.  He has also inspired many world leaders and authors to carry on his legacy.  Just a few of the chapter titles are 1)  Believe in Yourself 2)  A peaceful Mind Generates Power 3)How to Have Constant Energy 4)  Try Prayer Power 5) How to Create Your Own Happiness 6)  Expect the Best and Get It  7)  I Don’t Believe in Defeat  8)  How to Break the Worry Habit  9)  Power to Solve Personal Problems  10)  When Vitality Sags Try This Health Formula.  Actually I inherited my Grandmother’s copy of the book and I love where she has highlighted or underlined those sections that spoke to her.  There are also many scriptures he refers to in teaching many of life lessons.  Like Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Renewing of your minds (visualize) means to surrender ourselves to God, follow his teaching and will for our lives.  Also, I like Matthew 17:20 “So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief, for assuredly I say to you if you have faith as a mustard seed you will say to this mountain, Move from here to there and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.”  Believe…Visualize…we have the power within to do all things through Christ who strengthens us.  The Bible also speaks about Vision one of my favorite verses I have set as my mantra to live by is found in Habakkuk 2:2-3 “Write my vision and make it plain upon tables but these thing I plan won’t happen right away.  Slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled.  If it seems slow do not despair for these things will surely come to pass.  Just be patient.  They will not be overdue a single day.”  This is so profound to me scripture truly speaks to my soul and everyday life.

 

Are you a visual learner or an audio learner?  Finding out early can help you learn better.   It is proven 80% of a standard group of people are Visual learners.  I encourage you to visualize your surroundings, your well-being, and your life in general.  What changes do you want to make?  Number one have you written them down, as we discussed a few weeks back what are those possibilities?  Get with it and write them down.  How about a vision board?  I love mine hanging in my closet I see it every morning and every evening.  Pictures, desires they truly can turn into reality, I encourage to try a vision board as well.

Speaking of vision,I love the story about a basketball team and the coach had the team sit on the bench, close their eyes and visualize making those lay ups one right after the other and then making those free throws one right after the other for the first 20 to 30 minutes of every practice.  Then they got down on the court and practiced the drills.  You know what that team won the State Title that year and the team indicated it was because their coach taught them to visualize first, lay-up after lay-up, free throw after free throw, passing and catching the ball and then visualizing holding that trophy up in the air.  They Visualized something before it could really happen which to me they had to feel it before they could make the change to make it a reality.  Now don’t get me wrong they need to practice and condition themselves as well but if you have the vision you can take the first step in setting yourself up to succeed.  It is like a movie replaying in our minds, some things you may wish to erase as they may not be a very pleasant experience that is when I say you have permission to hit the “Delete” button.  We all have one we just have to choose to use it.  The positive visions continue to replay and see what happens.


Well I have takin enough of your time this week, I just get so passionately wound up and can ramble on and on…until next time my dear sweet friend, I hope you will enjoy “Takin Time Out” and visualize a bit more of where you want your life to go or the changes you want to make as I believe if you can visualize it you can do most anything you put your mind to!  It takes time, determination, patience and a belief within! If you can visualize it you can make it happen…I promise!

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If you can visualize it can happen….

Lighten The Load

imageDefinition:  To make a difficult or upsetting situation easier to deal with.  To make free or relieve, deliver or take away.

 

Yippee, skippee…I get so excited when I know it is time to sit down and start typing my weekly blog with a warm cup of my favorite hot tea, this week it is Tazo Cucumber White…mmmm delish!  I love to share with you some of those deep seeded passions, desires, possibilities, dreams and changes I am working on in this next halftime of life.  I decided it was time to share something I started working on about a year and half ago and it is an ongoing process.  Just about the same time I started working with my Life Coach, Michele, she has been so instrumental in helping me assess and review all this stuff bottled up inside of me.  She has helped in discovering buried gifts, talents, strengths and teaching me to not focus so much on the weakness and to lighten my load.  It is all about progress and not perfection.  

 

Have you ever woke up in the morning and you felt the weight of the world was all on your shoulders?  I mean really you felt heavy all over not just emotionally, physically, mentally but you looked around your home or environment and thought where did all this stuff come from?  Things you have collected through almost 30 years of marriage, three children who are now grown and you have memorabilia from infant, grade school, middle school, high school, and college.  In fact you had not only your children’s stuff from school but you realized you had your own stuff your Mom so graciously passed onto you.  Perhaps you inherited things from loved ones who had passed away and at one point it was very sentimental but now you look at it and wonder why?  Oh and what about art or craft projects you might have had a phase in doing and haven’t touched in ten years or more?  Come on please admit I am not the only one guilty of that.  I loved scrapbooking, stamping, painting sweatshirts, floral design, sewing, needle point to quilting.  I also walked into my closet and thought I really didn’t like too much of what was in there.  Now granted I couldn’t give it all away and start over but some of the stuff was really dated and I had business suits I used to wear but haven’t in so many years.  Yes I have a section in my closet of smaller sizes thinking someday I will be able to wear those again.  Really who am I kidding I looked at one outfit and it was before babies.  There is no way my happy little junk in the trunk will ever fit into those pants again.  My body has changed, my style has changed and you know what it is ok!  Now I am not saying you need to get rid of it all but I am saying to really come to a valid reason as to why you want to hang on to so much stuff.  Oh I know you are saying because you might need it someday.  Really…when is the last time you used or wore it?  Is it something of value emotionally or financially then maybe ok I will agree with you.  But maybe just maybe someone else could benefit more by having it.  Wouldn’t it feel good to bring a smile to someone else’s face or warmth on a cold winter’s night to someone needing a coat or blanket?  What about extra furniture collecting dust in the attic, garage or storage unit?

 

Well let me encourage you during your “takin time out”, to watch one or two episodes of the TV show “Hoarders” and see what you think.  I watched a half of an episode before getting up and shutting the TV off.  I went and found three big bins and started Lightening my Load.  I had umption in my gumption to make some changes.  I set a game plan and a date of completion.  I litterly went through every closet, draw and cabinet in our home and purged.  One bin for give away, one bin of throw away and one bin of stuff I wasn’t sure of what I wanted to do with but needed further organizing or asking my children if they wanted it.   Let me tell you it was very therapeutic and it made me HAPPY!  I was lightening my load from the burden of stuff.  My kids and huband were a bit worried I was getting ready to leave the country but I reassured them I wasn’t.   I just had to start my new halftime in life with a few less stuff.

Another area I am most proud of was the sorting and organizing of my emails, I have three separate accounts: one for work, one for home and one for my blog.  I was most excited about the cleaning up of my work emails.  I can average 250 or more a day easily.  I had a really bad habit of keeping them all in the initial email feed, glancing through them and taking appropriate action when I could.  One day the light bulb went off and I realized those emails made me heavy…I felt a bit trapped and suffocating …I worried I might forget to do something if I didn’t keep them all right there in front of me.  I recreated folders based on clients or subjects, I also created an Action folder  and I initially glance at the email if I can’t act upon it at that moment I quickly put it into my action folder to work on the minute I can, if I have read it and it needs no action I file it or trash it.  I try to keep this cleaned up daily and unsubscribe to those vendors I really don’t need or read especially the solicitation ones.  It is working awesome and I feel lighter now.

 

During that same time I made a huge decision with relationships and organizations I was associated with.  There were a few that I would consider to be toxic, they were negative unhappy group of people not just part of the time but almost all the time when we were together.  I would come home from having dinner and I was exhausted, I felt sad and partially responsible when I truly had nothing to do with their problems or decisions they had made.  They were always whining or complaining when they had so much to be thankful for.  Now granted I tried different approaches and tried putting myself in their shoes but looking back over time these people had really been that way for most of their life.  They are still my friends but I do not have to take my precious time to hang out and feed my soul of those toxic negative attitudes.  Whew that felt good! 

 

I reviewed my mental state.  I had past circumstances haunting me, plagued with guilt, worry, anxiety and shame from bad decisions I had made.  I realized fear truly was paralyzing me of what the future was to hold.  I was allowing negativity and small narrow minded thinking to control me…I quickly realized that wasn’t really me…that wasn’t my nature…that wasn’t who I wanted to be or who God had designed me to be.  Yes I was far from perfect and I knew immediately Satan was controlling those feelings, thought patterns and I told him to pack his bag and move on I was lightening my load and he wasn’t welcome any longer. I started back with my Gratitude Journal and writing 5 things daily I was grateful for.   I read uplifting positive affirmations daily, it truly helps.  I encourage you to try it too.

 

Then it was time for Spiritual, I have been very faithful through the years to have my quiet time usually first thing in the morning where I read scripture, devotionals, have my prayer time and writing in my journal.  I also realized though I was very guilty of not really meditating fully and breathing deeply.  This is so important not only to your physical body but your mental state.  Did you know meditation promotes relaxation, it builds internal energy, it develops compassion, love, patience, generosity and forgiveness.  Why hadn’t I figured that out sooner?  The bible is so clear with regards to meditation, Joshua 1:8 “This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it.  For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.” Or Psalm 1:2 “But his delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law he meditates day and night.” Or Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise think or meditate about these things.”  Scripture is so clear and the Lord truly speaks to each one of us through his word if we would only make it a priority in “takin time out” to read and meditate on it!  How about you…where are you on this journey?  Take some time to try it your life truly will never be the same.  Start out with 15 minutes everyone can spare at least that amount of time and it will grow from there.  I promise try it for 21 days that is the proven amount of time to make a permanent change.

 

The final topic of lightening my load is physical.  It is truly an ongoing process.  As I have advanced in my age weight has never really been an issue until the last couple of years.  I have put on some extra unwanted pounds and am continually working to lighten the load there but I also realize I am not 20 or 30 something anymore.  My metabolism is slowing down and I have to find a balance.  Most of all I want to be healthy, happy and feel good in the clothes I wear even if they are one size larger but just one size not two or three you hear me?   I swear the washing machine had something to do with some of those jeans I tried to put on, they fit last year just fine.  Oh, and heaven forbid I try to wear my daughter’s jeans…those low riders aren’t quite like they used to be, it looks like and I have an inner tube around my middle when I really don’t .  Personally that’s why I prefer and love my yoga pants for weekend errands and leisurely ‘takin time outs!”  I have been very faithful to get my annual physical, bloodwork, to drink plenty of water, eat a healthy well balanced diet and exercise regularly I love yoga as it keeps me flexible and something I can do the rest of my life .  Yes there is always room for improvement  but remember I said progress not perfection.

 

Speaking of physical it is also important to get a good night sleep and it is a bit past my bedtime so I am going end this for now!  Until next time, I am hoping you will consider to lighten your load of unnecessary burdens whether it is emotional, spiritual, mental, physical or just stuff in general…Life is way too short to let those burdens weigh you down any longer…Get Up, Get Goin and Lighten your Load! YOU will be glad you did.

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“My mind is constantly going.  For me to completely relax, I gotta get rid of my cell phone.”  Kenny Chesney

 

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