"Takin' Time Out"

Sidetracked – cause (someone) to be distracted from an immediate or important issue.

I am not sure about you but right after the craziness of 4th quarter, three major holidays I have found myself to be a bit sidetracked. It is the beginning of a brand new year and this year marks a new decade there are parts of me saying I should be focused, driven and ready to achieve my goals but other parts of me look outside at the drab, overcast and dreary January day and say hmmm can I just go back to bed? Call it seasonal disorder, being middle age or bottom line it is simply being sidetracked.

I really like the urban dictionary’s definition the best.
To get distracted for a while halfway while you’re doing something else. That pretty much sums it up…life happens So today I choose to begin again…I have poured myself a cup of Ginger Peach tea and encourage you to do the same!

How many of you find yourself sidetracked from time to time? I think we all can relate. I remember when I was a newlywed my mother introduced me to a book called “The Sidetracked Home Executive, from Pigpen to Paridise” Originally published: November 1979 Authors: Pam Young, and Peggy Jones. I loved that book, I spent hours typing on a manual typewriter on 3 by 5 cards the items I would be required to do daily, weekly, monthly, semi-monthly, quarterly and yearly. It was such a great system to get organized and stay organized in my home. The cards were different colors by category and then I added my own personal touch with cute little stickers. I was very faithful for quite a few years using their system it was so fun more like a game. Don’t laugh but it has been almost 40 years and I still have that box of cards in a metal recipe box stashed on a shelf. (Thanks Mom!)

We have moved from 3 by 5 cards, to day planners and now we have smart phones with so many apps helping us get and stay organized it makes my head spin. Some days I like going back to the simple times of paper and a manual system. It seems to be a bit calmer than being attached to the screen, dings and vibration reminders. No wonder I find myself so sidetracked.

This post is also about the times we find ourselves faced with circumstances we weren’t expecting. Perhaps it is an unexpected diagnosis, a phone call your loved one has hit rock bottom, a good friend is facing divorce or separation. A loss in employment, a severe accident or loss of a loved one. Unfortunately we can never know when that curveball is thrown. How are we going to react or better yet respond?

1. Don’t be bitter; be neutral. What happened wasn’t OK, but bitterness will end up hurting you even more than the specific circumstance.

2. Do the things you were told you couldn’t do. If someone said you would never amount to anything, go and prove them wrong. Don’t do it for their attention, and don’t expect them to acknowledge it later. Do it for yourself.

3. Prove yourself wrong. Most people who have been sidetracked have allowed low expectations from someone else to come into their own life somewhere. You don’t need to prove anything to someone else, but prove yourself wrong and learn to set higher expectations.

4. Reevaluate your life. Recovery is always a good time to look at what you’re doing and determine if you are finding fulfillment through it. Did something teach you that life is short? You’re a survivor for a reason, so make it count you won’t always be a victim unless you allow yourself to be.

5. Complete Surrendering to God is the biggest and best decision I could have ever made. “The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭32:8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I heard this week if you are going through Hell just keep on going eventually the days will get brighter and the circumstances will change. I also read that too much sunshine will eventually create a desert so embrace the hard times and be extra thankful for the good times.

When I came up with the slogan “Takin Time Out” it was designed to encourage others, take a break from a hectic schedule and to release my random thoughts on paper. Have you found yourself a bit sidetracked lately? What do you do to get back on track? Perhaps during this time of year maybe you could journal, read a bit more or just sit and be…there is nothing wrong with that! Hope you have a great week until next time…

Quiet – making little or no noise. Carried out discreetly, secretly, or with moderation.

I am almost embarrassed regarding the time that has elapsed since my last post. Yes you might say I have been quiet. Unfortunately I had some personal detours that took me off course for way too long. You might say I took my own advice in Takin Time Out but what I have realized during that time I gave up a part of me to focus on others which was ok but I have had a tugging or nagging in my soul to get back to writing so here we go!

I have struggled to come up with a word to describe my sabbatical from writing and the one word that came to mind was Quiet. I have made no noise in writing or posting my weekly blog. This was the one thing that gave me joy and put my random thoughts into words and into print. What I have learned is it is ok to be quiet, to take a break and there is no limit on how long but once the nagging of your soul and yearning ignites you must Begin Again.

As I sit in my new favorite chair on this cool crisp January morning before the dawning of a new day, sipping on my hot lemon water and earl grey tea it is deathly quiet. I can only hear the brisk light breeze rustling through the broken seal of the window. I absolutely love this time of day…just me and my Lord! Takin Time out reflecting on the past chaotic months we have encountered at work, we call it tax season but for benefits consultants. The unfortunate thing is we can’t file an extension. We have deadlines looming and people depending on us to get it done. I am so thankful for my job and career but this time of year with three major holidays it seems so unfair, I could sit and have a pity party but what good would that do? I realize the busier I am the more I need to carve out the quiet time…takin time out to reset my mind, my heart, my soul and to strategically plan and focus on the tasks at hand. Thank you Lord for the ability to do that.

How about you are you are you taking the necessary time to sit and be still? No matter whether you are an introvert or an extrovert you still need a quiet moment to just breathe, to get centered and just BE! I am not sure how you feel but the older I get the more distractions I find in my every day life. Most folks blame this on social media, technology and I have to agree. I look at my grandchildren and all that is on their plate between school, extracurricular activities, social gatherings but I am not sure they have time to be creative to let their imagination dream and run wild. Lord knows they would not know what to do if they just had to sit in silence. We have TV’s, IPods, IPhones/Androids, games and so many things to keep our minds engaged.

Growing up on the ranch there were times we were without electricity especially during the winter storms thank goodness we had a gas furnace and a fireplace to keep us warm. At night is when I would notice it being even more quiet we would light a carosine lantern and candles. Watching the flicker of the flame was captivating! It seemed so much simpler and I am sure the weight of the world might have been on my parents shoulder. Especially my Dad’s during calving season but as a child I had no worries no concerns I just lived each day in fullness. Oh how I yearn for that day to return.

The Bible is very clear there is “A time to keep silent, and a time to speak” – Ecclesiates 3:7. Being quiet can be a struggle, but it can also be a good virtue to have. The Bible commends those who are able to keep the peace and listen, however, discourages being quiet due to timidness. Through God’s words we can be empowered to speak out for it can lead to great things. Takin Time Out to reflect in his word and be still and listen can be so powerful.

As we have finished another Christmas holiday and rang in a New Year I hope you find some time to be quiet, to sit still and reflect on this past year and actually this past decade. Maybe write yourself a letter of all the things that happened, the good the bad and the ugly, then store it away until next year. I always reflect those thoughts on the first pages of my new yearly journal. I find it interesting to go back and reread the events and reflect on the highs and the lows and similar patterns. Some years are more eventful than others.

As you are Takin Time Out this week may you be aware of your own version of quietness lingering in your heart today, may you trust his vision of your future not because you know exactly where you’re going, but because you trust in the one who goes with you. Please realize the quieter you become the more you can hear! Until next time…embrace the quietness!

Definition: Say something in order to obtain an answer or some information. Request to do or give something. To invite someone to go somewhere or do something.
As I prepare for this week’s post and entertaining several words wondering which one I would like to express my views about one word just kept popping in my mind and that was the word “ASK!” It is such a simple three letter word but has such a powerful impact on how we could live our lives day in and day out. So why don’t you pour yourself a cup of coffee or favorite cup of tea. This morning I am sipping on a scrumptious blend of cinnamon orange spice tea. Mmmm the flavor ignites my soul!

I absolutely love watching my grandchildren grow up. There is something magically different in being a grandparent. Maybe it is our awareness of how quickly time passes and the full sense of responsibility for their life is not ours but placed upon their parents. In most cases this truly changes our perspective and relationship. Each one of them are uniquely designed and have different needs and personalities, yet I find the three that can verbalize never hesitates to ask questions or express their desires. Their simple little innocence and curiosity sparks interest within that truly amazes me. Most of their questions usually start with, “Gigi why…” I believe the “why” questions help make sense of the world around them which spurs and accelerates their learning. It helps build concepts, skills, vocabulary and understanding of the unknown. It is our responsibility to channel their curiosity and need to know why so that we can help foster learning in a positive way. Yet as they get older the questions sometimes get harder and half the time we may not have the answer! That’s when I say let’s wait and ask your mommy or daddy!” LOL….

Let’s think about it even as adults we ask questions daily. I must admit I am so thankful for the internet and the wonderful search engines like google, lyos, mapquest, bing, ask engine etc. At a fingertip it blows my mind how much information can be generated by simply typing in a word, and BAM it appears from the web or input from live people. We can even ask Siri on our phones or tablets a question, in my case most of the time I just get frustrated as Siri doesn’t seem to understand my lingo…actually I changed Siri from a female response to a male British voice he doesn’t get on my nerves as much when he doesn’t understand my question.

Just for grins I typed into google the most commonly asked question of 2015…do you know what it was? You will be shocked, “What’s zero divided by zero?” was the most commonly googled question…now that is really sad because for most of us who passed third grade we know the answer is simply 0. Are people just testing google? Are they looking for a different answer? It made me laugh!
If it is so obvious that asking questions is such a powerful way of learning why do we sometimes stop asking questions? For some people the reason is that they are lazy. They assume they know all the main things they need to know and they do not bother to ask more. They cling to their beliefs and remain certain in their assumptions – yet they often end up looking foolish.

Other people are afraid that by asking questions they will look weak, ignorant or unsure. They like to give the impression that they are decisive and in command of the relevant issues. They fear that asking questions might introduce uncertainty or show them in a poor light. In fact asking questions is a sign of strength and intelligence – not a sign of weakness or uncertainty. Great leaders constantly ask questions and are well aware that they do not have all the answers

I know when I went through Sales training we were taught to stay away from a close-ended question where the other party could simply answer by stating “Yes” or “No”. We were encouraged to ask Open Ended questions. This was simply a way to state a high-value question that would create a deeper understanding and learning experience for all parties involved. I learned it is an art of blueprinting. To me it is a better form of communication and connection to get a full understanding of the topic you are discussing. Asking many questions is very effective but it can make you appear to be inquisitive and intrusive. So it is important to ask questions in a friendly and non threatening way. It even worked later on in life with my teenagers…even though they would have really rather just have stated Yes or No…I made it where they couldn’t and it took us to another level of understanding. Now that I am an empty-nester it is even more important for my husband and I to communicate and share our feelings, desires and wants. After 31 years of marriage we still can’t always read each other’s mind completely so we must ask those open ended questions to give us the desired results we are looking for.

As I was “Takin Time Out” this week and in reading my devotional Matthew 7:7 was perfect verse “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”   Please notice the first word in this verse is ask…what this means to me is we must be in direct communication with God. We must keep in mind that he is not a cosmic genie who serves us on a whim but we must cry out…ask direct questions…seek him each and every day and through his perfect timing the results will be revealed. It may take a few months or even years. During which time we we must stay faithful, steady and have patience.  God is in control.
So what about YOU…this week let’s try to practice asking more questions in your everyday conversations. Instead of telling someone something, ask them a question. Intelligent questions stimulate, provoke, inform and inspire. Questions help us to teach as well as to learn. Until next time enjoy your week and let’s make August and inquisitive month by simply asking…

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PUZZLES – Cause someone to feel confused because they cannot understand or make sense of something.  A game, toy, or problem designed to test ingenuity or knowledge

 

Do you like puzzles?

My mom loves working crossword puzzles but I prefer the word search puzzles.  Each to their own, right?  I think you either love puzzles or you don’t but there is one puzzle that all of us are stuck with – and that is the puzzle of life!

Personally, I love working jigsaw puzzles it brings back so many precious memories as a child the family gathered around the dining room table working together to create a masterpiece of some random picture on the outside of a box.  It is still a tradition we look forward to each holiday as we are gathered together.  The goal is to finish before it is time for everyone to go back home.  It also seems one person always holds out on hiding that last piece so they can be the one to place it in the last remaining blank space.  Just a few months ago I found the one piece while cleaning out the china cabinet, one year we never found the final piece, I blamed the manufacturer for possibly not including it in the packaging just to mess with us but now I guess I am left to wonder who is the guilty party in my family that placed it in a dish way in the top of the china cabinet…hmmm?

Just for a minute let’s go back to the puzzle of life.  Life is made up of lots of different pieces, I have poured myself another cup of scrumptious Earl Grey tea and encourage you to do the same as we dive into this subject matter for this week.  Our identity, family, jobs, hobbies, friends, education, church, community, etc. – we are all trying to figure out how these pieces are supposed to fit together and what they really mean to us as we live our everyday life.

It is so important in working your puzzle to build a great foundation.  In the beginning there are so many pieces, it can be hard to figure out where to start. For the planners in this world, they start by connecting all the straight line pieces together and things are real smooth linking the outside frame of the picture, yet in reality when the frame is done what happens when they try piecing the jagged edges together and things don’t go according to plan?  Maybe they sort all the pieces by color?  The little twists and turns can sometimes rock our world.  That is when I need to step back analyze the shade or color I am looking for and for me personally I may even have to change my position as to where I am sitting at the table.  Can you relate to what I am saying?

As I begin working on a particular section, things begin to come together until there is one little gaping hole within that section I can’t seem to find.  I search and search and that piece is nowhere, it becomes so frustrating.  I begin to obsess over that one little piece, I begin to shuffle the pieces around on the table.  Come on, it has got to be here somewhere.  Then when I pretty much am about to give up, the piece seems to reveal itself.  But why did I work so hard to find that single piece?  Why did I let it cause frustration?  If I had just been patient the piece was there all along yet I caused it to rob me of so much negative energy and this could have been avoided had I chose a different feeling or attitude.

This could very well be an issue in my life, perhaps something happens at work or at home and I begin to obsess over a particular issue.  I let it consume my entire day or week, yet why?  If I would just move on and work on another area or my life or project at work, things usually will work itself out and I eventually will find the answer or resolution to the problem in due time.

Realistically in working a jigsaw puzzle it really takes time to put it together.  There is no short cuts, it simply is one piece at a time, and it is always a work in progress right up to the last piece.  We must take One Day at a Time…every step of the way we seem to be making progress.  Sometimes a piece just falls into place perfectly and effortlessly while other times we have to search and try many pieces before we find just the right one.  I also notice sometimes I am working the puzzle all by myself, time passes and I try many pieces but I find it most rewarding when other family members gather round to assist in the effort.  I would call this teamwork.  The puzzle takes on new energy and things seem to come together more quickly.  There is no competition everyone feels satisfied when a few more pieces are joined together.  It is almost like a unique bonding experience.  People are giving high fives, winking or smiling as we continue to work on the masterpiece together.

After many days and what seems like eternity the pieces start falling into place and at the end rather rapidly.  Even the most difficult pieces seem to be quite simple at the end.  I have found that to be the case in many life projects as well.  It’s a lot of planning and hard work in the beginning but at the end of the project things seem to fall into place quite effortlessly.

But let’s look at that from a slightly different perspective. What about that missing piece I talked about in the beginning.  Should I look at an entire project as a failure simply because one piece is missing? Does that imply that the rest of the exercise was a waste of time? Is the part where your family jumped in to help nothing but a distant memory? Have the feelings that went with those other satisfying moments simply swept away by the final disappointment? Or was the journey itself something that should be remembered and embraced even more than the final outcome?  In the bible it state in Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on you own understanding.” We often work so hard to manipulate our circumstances only to see what we worked toward slowly unravel.  We want things to work out logically and in a specific order according to our plans.  However, this verse tells us that our logic is not the same as God’s.  God’s understanding is superior to ours because he knows all scenarios and see the big picture.  Our understanding can be very limited where God knows the complete story.

As you are “Takin Time Out” this week what piece of the puzzle is missing from your life.  What about the piece that is a bit more adventurous, do you need more laughter, or spend more time with family and friends?  Let’s work on finding that piece and placing it in our puzzle of life to help us feel more complete…until next time my friends let’s enjoy life one puzzle piece at a time…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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As I am sitting in the airport waiting to board my plane home…I have no internet access and unable to send or receive email it is simply amazing how addictive our lives have become through technology. I have been people watching, trying to take this opportunity to relax, breathe in and take some of my own advice in “Takin Time Out” but for some reason the hustle bustle and over stimulation of an airport it is not working. I decided it was a perfect opportunity to start my blog for the week. I have been strategizing on what topic would be good to discuss since the last few weeks I have encountered several waves of emotions, interruptions and testing of my faith. As I am watching a mother trying to hang onto her toddler who desperately wanting down the word RELASE came to mind.

Can you close your eyes for a moment and envision this scene with me, the struggle with a little one…what comes to your mind when you see this toddler wanting down is the mother afraid to allow for fear he will run off, get into something he shouldn’t, crawl around on the dirty floor where there might be germs (lol I think germs are good) or is it fear he might disrupt someone else’s space? We have all seen it yet the distraction of watching the child wiggle and squirm and almost flip out of her arms becomes comical. The child is determined to get his way the mother challenged to keep her power wrapped around his body until she has finally has had enough and lets him down…finally a RELEASE has come and he is off and in reality they both feel so much better!

Yes there are different forms of RELEASE and the word can be positive or negative energy to oneself. So as I sip on my scrumptious cup of peach ginger tea and taking a deep breath I will try to explain my take and hope you absorb the lesson I am trying to explain. The word RELEASE has been very powerful for me the last week or so.

When I say the word RELEASE…a positive twinge of excitement can enter my veins, thinking about the anticipation of something new. How many of us are waiting for the newest RELEASE of the latest technology such as a new I-phone, Apple device or perhaps you are an Android user? I have known people who stand in line camped outside the store (which personally I think it’s crazy)…just to be one of the first for the RELEASE of the latest and greatest. Perhaps it is a new release of a movie with our favorite actor, a new book written by your favorite author or a new single or album from your favorite artist in music. A few years back I can remember my children would drive me crazy wanting to know when the new RELEASE of the latest Pokémon cards or Beanie Baby by Ty would be coming out? To me this type of RELEASE causes anticipation and excitement. The adrenaline is flowing. The new body style of a car, boat or RV. Reality check, we truly live in such a material world! Yet there can be another take perhaps a loved one or even yourself is preparing to be released from the hospital, rehab center, physicians care, weight loss program or perhaps even jail or prison. This brings a sigh of relief and an attitude of gratitude you made it through the storm and are ready for the next step…

RELEASE, I think of those who have nursed a wild animal back to life and it comes time to RELEASE it back into it’s normal habitat. Perhaps you are a fisherman who loves to fish but you prefer to catch and release, I have a client who I asked if he was ever going to get remarried…he paused and a slight grin appeared on his face. He said oh no…I date like I fish it’s catch and release only in my world! LOL…

Referring back to the mother and child struggling…how often do we try soooo desperately to hang on to something or someone against their will? As we watch our children grow or our parents age many times we wish we could put them in a bubble, safe and secure so desperately wanting the clock to stop so we could savor that stage a little longer? Yet we must release our power and move on it is all part of life!
How many of you are in a relationship that you need to release the stronghold? Deciding to end a relationship might not be the same as actually leaving. But releasing the struggle is more of what I am referring to. Perhaps you are trying to control that person or situation and you truly can’t nor should you. God designed each of us uniquely and we have a part to play but controlling someone is not in his plan I can assure you. Scripture tells us “For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” —ISAIAH 41:13 or “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need” – MATTHEW 6:33

There truly are situations that someone is in such a toxic relationship they should leave but fear holds them back…The more entangled you are, the more logistics might have to be worked out. I’ve found that the hardest relationships to get out of are the ones that are the most dysfunctional. The stress definitely takes its toll. That’s why you might need some help. Seek guidance from a coach, therapist, or a really grounded friend—the kind that loves you unconditionally and isn’t afraid to (metaphorically) slap you back to reality. If you fear for your safety in any way, definitely build a strong team to support you in the transition and leave…RELEASE it NOW!

Many relationships are set up for failure…I love the saying from Mandy Hale “When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be.” We all need to RELEASE our expectations….don’t get ourselves worked up for the unknown robbing us for the enjoyment of today. How many times have we awfulized (my friend taught me that word and I just love it) a scenario in our head played it out to be much worse that it was robbing us of the enjoyment of the NOW and the present? Maybe that expectation was too high for the other person and they feel bad for letting you down.

The whole purpose in referring to this word this week is each and everyone of us has someone or something we need to release…Take your hand and make a tight fist….hold it for a couple minutes or so…tighter I know you can hold it tighter…tighter the force is so tight your hand begins to ache now open up your palm slowly and can’t you feel the relief? Just by releasing that power, that force you automatically get instant relief! As you are “Takin Time Out” what’s in your bag or your palm you need to open up and RELEASE…let it out…free it and you both are no longer struggling in bondage. Until next time my friends let’s RELEASE more and enjoy today for there are no guarantees of what tomorrow may bring…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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